I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, by Mónica Guzmán
Welcome to UMKC Libraries’ RoosRead discussions for Academic Year 2023-2024! See the other posts in the series. This post begins to explore Part II: Curiosity, focusing on perspective and friction, the topics of chapters 4 and 5.
Perspective
Guzmán leads off a discussion about perspective by citing the framing model posited by the journalism historian Daniel C. Hallin in his 1986 book The Uncensored War. Hallin used this framing to provide an explanation of coverage of the Vietnam War, separating political discourse into three areas, or spheres. The Sphere of Consensus contains all the (mostly) commonly-held beliefs in a society, the Sphere of Controversy (which Guzmán calls the Sphere of Legitimate Discourse) contains all the ideas that people can reasonably debate, and the outer, largest sphere is the Sphere of Deviance which involve tossing out wild theories and untruths, as Guzmán states, “…that you could soar into the air by jumping off your roof and flapping your arms just right, crap like that.” (p. 51)
We all bring our own perspective to conversations about difficult issues. Instead of worrying mostly about getting our facts straight for these conversations, Guzmán suggests that we spend a little more time thinking about perspectives – other people’s and our own. Recognizing the limitations of our own perspective will allow us to ask “What am I missing?” – a key question to stepping outside of our own perspective and being open to thinking more broadly. Trying to consciously engineer these perspective shifts helps set up a “doorstep against cognitive closure” (p. 55) that would prevent really discussing issues that matter.
This leads to the opportunity to have insights where “I Never Thought of It That Way.” Guzmán believes this phrase is so critical that she used it for the title of the book, and in a mnemonic acronym, INTOIT. INTOIT moments for Guzmán are the insights that fire her curiosity, to want to learn more – not about issues, ideas, or abstractions, but about the people who hold them close, argue them, and appear to think and act so differently that we would.
Friction
“…’I never thought of it that way’ moments are entirely and exclusively about you. What surprises you, what challenges you, what changes or freshens your thinking.” (p. 61) These INTOIT moments can be the catalyst for curiosity and building bridges to engage in those difficult conversations. How do we get the opportunity to experience INTOIT moments more frequently and have them turn into full-on bridge building?
Guzmán says we need to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable, putting ourselves into situations where we meet and interact with people outside our silos (that first S in SOS!) and find out where those places are where you rub each other the wrong way. She calls this friction, and finding friction and actively exploring it with curiosity is the way forward in our divided conversations.
There are keys to turning curiosity from a passive feeling into an active pursuit. Guzmán urges us to pay attention to the gaps in our knowledge, to collect knowledge to fill those gaps as we find them, to reject the easy answers (the ones that always seem to feel natural in our silos), and to embrace complexity.
I find embracing complexity hard. Guzmán does as well. “Confusion is such a killjoy,” she says, and I wholeheartedly agree! (p. 69) We need to fight that urge to simplify, learn to spend time in the confusion, and work with others to better understand. Guzmán quotes a phrase from Michel de Montaigne, to “rub and polish our brains against those of others,” that captures the spirit of what “embracing complexity” means: that we must actively work at it. Of course, we never thought having good difficult conversations would be easy, right?
Guzmán’s Seattle newsletter The Evergrey certainly embraced complexity by asking community for their questions regarding homelessness in 2018, then allowing for a popular vote for the questions that The Evergrey needed to answer through their journalism. For a glimpse of the kind of reporting results achieved, check out You asked, we answered: What our unhoused neighbors want us to know about homelessness.
Let’s discuss!
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- Guzmán describes how Daniel C. Hallin’s Spheres can help us frame our perspectives. Do you find that thinking about the Sphere of Consensus, Sphere of Legitimate Discourse, and Sphere of Deviance helps you in understanding your point of view? What about the point of view of others?
- Do you have an example of a time that you “got uncomfortable” in the name of understanding gaps in your knowledge? How did you turn this moment of conversational friction into an opportunity to explore your curiosity about the other point of view?
Getting a jump start on next month?
We’re going to keep digging into curiosity in November. We’ll be discussing Chapters 6 & 7. Until then, stay curious! If you aren’t yet curious, get curious!
Register for the Author Event! Mónica Guzmán will be speaking at 5:30 pm on Thursday, October 12 at UMKC’s Pierson Auditorium. Doors open at 5:00 pm, registration is required! Visit the RoosRead page to register.
By: Scott Curtis, Teaching & Learning Librarian
